C: you know that's not right.
Me: What's not right?
C: what ever it was you were just thinking. don't try to be slick. i got your number lady.
Me: Um, I was telling Don about how the shopping list said one carrot and you bought a bag of carrots. You're right, it's not right.
C: they did not sell individual carrots. asshat.
Me: Nowhere, not in the entire store?
C: that's right. i thought it was strange too. but things change. you used to be able to buy grapes by the bunch, cherries, sprouts, etc. now they all come in packages.
Me: Back in the day?
C: yes ok gotta go. you're still not right, btw.
Me: Hmmm. I'm going to tweet this interaction.
C: theres no comedic or educational value to this. but help yourself.
Me: It keeps you honest. Or on your toes. Or something.
Me: I married you, didn't I?
Many of our conversations end this exact same way as the last two lines of this exchange.
Also, my husband does not use capitalization in his texts. He would say it's because he doesn't have some fancy smart phone. I would say he's being text lazy. Tezy. That sounds dirty. He does use punctuation though, so there's that.
Also, also, please note that he called me names. Twice.