Next Steps...

So, America says that the proper way to do things as an American is to graduate high school, hopefully go to college, fall in love, get married, buy a house, have babies. Well, check, check, check, check and check. The last one, not so simple. Cesar and I have known each other for 12 1/2 years, been married for 7 1/2 years, I have been in my job for over 8 years, in our house for 4. We've talked about kids on and off over the years and were ready to start trying for a baby when Cesar got laid off last year. Not very responsible to have a child when one person isn't working. So, now that he is working again, we are back in negotiations, so to speak. The thing is we both love kids and if we got pregnant we would be thrilled. Its hard though to sort out if it is us really wanting a child or if it is societal pressure - the required next step. In all honesty, I have been ready for the next phase of my life for a while now, but how do I know if that next phase is a baby or if it is something else? It's never easy, is it?